The Rainbow of Humanity: Understanding the Weight of Expectations

The force that binds people together also carries the potential for division—expectations. From birth, human interactions are shaped by expectations placed on us and the ones we impose on others. A baby cries because of the expectation of care from parents. Teens struggle with the expectations placed on them by their families. Adults carry the weight of societal demands. This continuous exchange of expectations marks the beginning of the tensions seen all around us.

Psychologist Albert Ellis argued that much of human frustration stems from irrational expectations—beliefs that the world or others should behave in a certain way (Ellis, 1994). When these expectations do not align with reality, emotional distress and interpersonal conflict emerge. This principle applies across all aspects of life, from family relationships to professional settings.

Having expectations is not the issue; the real challenge is whether they align with reality. For instance, the daily job that provides income to an employee comes with well-defined expectations in a contractual agreement. While one party may not fully agree with every aspect, they accept the contract as a whole. The key is that expectations in this context are realistic and mutually binding.

The Root of Human Conflicts

Unlike scientific experiments that follow predictable patterns, human relationships are unpredictable. Even in a well-defined agreement, life’s uncertainties often alter outcomes. This unpredictability is the breeding ground of conflict—whether in the home, among rulers and citizens, or between the privileged and the struggling.

Sociologist Erving Goffman explained that human interactions are largely performances, where individuals manage how they are perceived by others to meet social expectations (Goffman, 1959). The pressure to maintain these expectations often leads to misunderstandings and tensions. Similarly, Daniel Kahneman’s research on cognitive biases highlights how people react negatively when their expectations of fairness are violated, leading to conflict (Kahneman, 2011).

The sting of unmet expectations is a universal human experience. It leads to offense, which in turn breeds resentment, misunderstandings, and division. Over time, unresolved offenses weaken relationships, leading to a breakdown of community. When people impose unrealistic expectations on others—whether in personal relationships or societal structures—the foundation of unity is shaken.

The Rainbow of Humanity: A Spectrum of Struggles

This is where The Rainbow of Humanity emerges. Just as a rainbow consists of different colors blending into one another, human struggles exist on a spectrum. Each challenge, though unique, is part of a larger whole.

Some conflicts are visible, like bold colors—betrayals, injustices, or acts of violence that society easily recognizes. Others, like ultraviolet light, are unseen. These represent silent expectations, hidden resentments, and personal disappointments that may never be expressed but still shape human interactions.

Just as colors in a rainbow occupy different places on the spectrum, so do human flaws and struggles. The errors of a dictator may seem vastly different from those of a shoplifter, but both stem from misplaced expectations—either personal, societal, or moral. Philosopher Immanuel Kant argued that humans must treat others as ends in themselves, rather than means to an end (Kant, 1785). When expectations become self-serving rather than mutual, they often lead to injustice. John Rawls similarly emphasized that fairness in expectations is essential for societal harmony (Rawls, 1971).

Even in spiritual traditions, the weight of expectations plays a central role. The Bible warns against placing judgment on others while failing to recognize one’s own flaws (Matthew 7:1-5). C.S. Lewis similarly described human nature as deeply flawed, arguing that grace—not rigid expectations—is necessary to sustain relationships (Lewis, 1952).

Bridging the Divide

The challenge is not to eliminate expectations but to manage them with wisdom. When we recognize the diversity of struggles in The Rainbow of Humanity, we can approach conflicts with greater understanding. Instead of imposing unrealistic demands or rushing to judgment, we can foster patience, grace, and a willingness to see beyond our own perspectives.

Humanity’s strength lies not in perfection but in the ability to navigate expectations with wisdom and compassion. Recognizing our differences, adjusting our perspectives, and learning from one another can restore the bonds that hold us together.

References

1. Albert Ellis (1994) – Expectations & Emotional Distress → Strengthens your psychological basis.

2. Erving Goffman (1959) – Social Expectations & Performance → Adds a sociological dimension.

3. Daniel Kahneman (2011) – Cognitive Biases & Perceived Fairness → Supports the claim that unmet expectations cause conflict.

4. Immanuel Kant (1785) – Ethical Expectations → Connects philosophical principles to your argument.

5. John Rawls (1971) – Justice & Fair Expectations → Gives a societal and ethical perspective.

6. Biblical & Theological References (Matthew 7:1-5, C.S. Lewis 1952) → Strengthens the moral and spiritual aspects.